Love to the Martin family

Dear Damon,

I think of you every day

I purposely drive by your house whenever I go out

I look for all the cars that will be there

And I look for when no cars are there at all

Mostly I think of you at night

As I lay in bed alone , in my house alone

And I think, I know how you feel and I want so much to do something

Wonderful, magically, spiritual for you to help you

But I have nothing

Sometimes I have an idea

Sometimes I think of something clever

But I never follow through

It is too much

It is too hard

My reach out button is broke

To give to someone you have to have something to give

There has to be more to yourself to give

And there is nothing here

I love you

I love Tracy

I love your kids

And I love your parents

Always, always each of you have been wonderfully kind to my family and me

To not reach out shows ingratitude for all you have done for us

When Rob was sick your mom and dad were so kind to drop by

And your dad always brought jam

I want to be that kind of person

I have been that kind of person

But not today

Today I can only send my love

My thoughts and my prayers for you and your family

Today I can reach out just a little bit, nothing fancy, nothing great or memorable

Just sending my love

I was head downwards the week before Tracy passed away

It was bad

And then when I thought, I needed to change it around

Your families loss, put me further down the road than I wanted to be

I went away for conference determined to prepared and listen to the special message at conference that was just for me

Something that would help heal my heart

Imagine my surprise when talk after talk was for me and helped me to find hope, love and my saviors message just for me

Today I am grateful

Today I have hope

Today I see a tomorrow

Today I am sending my love to you

Today I am praying for you

Today I am thinking about you and hoping that you will find just one little ray of sunshine in your day and know that you are loved

Today my prayer is for angels to attend you, to carry you and to lighten your load

Today I hope you feel Tracy around you and her joy and love

I would love to drop this off in person but I know I would never make it to your door

I might be able to make it to the mail box but not sure

It would probably sit in my purse until I talked myself out f sending it

But I saw you posted on facebook and think maybe an email will reach you

I think, I can do that

So I am