Lesson learned

It was 16 years ago. Our new neighbor, Lohra had moved in with 2 small boys and expecting a baby girl. I was anxious for the baby as Lohra was an excellent sharer. Lohra had gone to the hospital and I was left home tending the boys. I was instructed to bring them up when it was time to have the baby. We got the call and headed up, arriving right on time for the birth. The boys were in the room with their mom and I kind of hung off to the side, a little embarrassed to be in involved in such a personal family affair. Even after having 4 boys of my own I was still not all that comfortable with the whole birth process. As soon as Mickelle ( baby) was born Rennie ( dad) brought her to me. She still had the veil over her face. I had never experienced anything so beautiful in my life. It was so wonderful. She looked at me with those beautiful blue and we have loved each other ever since.
After spending time with the family the boys and I head home. On the way the boys put me through a tough interrogation. They are asking all the sex, delivery and baby question in the book. Many I do not have a answer for! I am reserve. I take my time to answer correctly and try to give as little information as possible. I am thinking- WHERE IS THEIR MOM AND DAD! It is an extremely long drive from LDS hospital to West Jordan, Utah. I am doing good but have not even addressed these questions with my own kids so many questions require some time to process. After all I have 4 boys so Rob was up, not me. They will not let up and make me answer all the questions. I am exhausted when we finally get home. I think I have done well. They have stopped talking about it ( thank heavens) I do nothing to encourage any other discussion and go to bed.
The next day Lohra and the baby come home. I rush over after work to see them. While I am holding Mickelle, Lohra says to me. " I am so glad the boys got to see the baby born. They took it so good, they have not even asked any questions" ARE YOU KIDDING ME! I tell Lohra about the drive home and let her know that they did have questions- MANY of them and that I answered them all. She had no idea it had happened. The boys had said nothing . I had tried to block it from my mind as much as possible. It was a lingering nightmare. Now I have to shared it all with her and even she is amazed at their many observations and conclusions.
So if I have learned anything then it would be that when parent says " they have not talked about it, they have not said anything, they have acted like nothing happened..... we think they are fine. They are not. Please do not wait for the child to say something-- talk to them, ask them. I am a firm believer that if you do not want to know the answer then do not ask the question but this is not true for small children who have just gone through a major/minor event. Please talk to them, please ask them. They have the thoughts and are waiting for the opportunity to talk about it. Hopefully they will find the right person and that person is you.