Kyler: Where is Frodo
Grandma: Frodo went to live with Matt until grandma gets a new house
Kyler: oh good, I was afraid he went to the P O U N D
Grandma: ( thinking what that spells) oh no , Frodo is at Matts, I just need to find a house
Kinney: Grandma, you can come look with us. We are going to get a new house with 3 extra bedrooms. You can come live with us and your parents. Your parents can have one room, you can have a room and Frodo can have a room.
Grandma: thanks Kinney I think I will do that
Monday, June 10, 2013
Thursday, June 6, 2013
When Bad things happen to good people by Harold S. Kushner
I read this book today at the pool . I read a lot of bad- good- okay- books but this was was excellent. Here are some passages from the book that I want to remember:
Could it be that God does not cause the bad things that happen to us? Could it be that he does not decide which families will suffer but rather that He stands ready to help them and us cope with our tragedies if we could only get beyond the feelings of guilt and anger that separate us from him? Could it be that " how could God do this to me? is really the wrong question for us to ask?
There is a German psychological term, Schadenfreude, which refers to the embarrassing reaction of relief we feel when something bad happens to someone else instead of to us. They can't help feeling an embarrassing spasm of gratitude that it happened to someone else and not to them.
We see psychology at work elsewhere, blaming the victim so that the evil doesn't seem so irrational and threatening. Blaming the victim is a way of reassuring ourselves that the world is not a bad a place as it may seem and that there are good reasons for peoples's suffering.
"God, why are you doing this to me but rather "God see what is happening to me. Can You help me?" We will turn to God, not to be judged or forgiven, not to be rewarded or punished, but to be strengthened and comforted.
but in fact, pain is natures way of telling us that we are overexerting ourselves, that some part of our body is not functioning as it was meant to, or is being asked to do more than it was intended to do.But pain does not represent God's punishing us. It represents natures way of warning good and bad people alike that something is wrong. Only humans can find meaning in their pain. Pain is the price we pay for being alive.
It is the result, not the cause, of pain that makes some experience of pain meaningful and others empty and destructive.
Too Often, in our pain and confusion, we instinctively do the wrong thing. We don't feel we deserve to be helped, so we let the guilt, anger, jealousy and self-imposed loneliness make a bad situation even worse.
When stating " Why is God doing this to me" the mistake was thinking it was a question. It is not a theological question at all but a cry of pain. There should be an explanation point instead of a question mark.
The answer should not be theological but sympathy.
Do not say:
Anything critical of the mourner
Anything which tries to minimize the mourners pain
Anything that asks the mourner to disguise or reject his feelings
We need sympathy more than we need advise
We need compassion.
We need physical comfort.
We need friends who permit you to be angry, to cry and to scream.
Come and listen
An appropriate sense guilt makes people try to be better. But an excessive sense of guilt, a tendency to blame ourselves for things which are clearly not our fault, robs us of our self-esteem and perhaps of our capacity to grow and act.
The text book definition of depression is anger turned inward instead of being discharged outward.
Fate, not God sends us the problem.
What do we do with the anger when we have been hurt? The goal, is we can achieve it, would be to be angry at the situation, rather than at ourselves, or at those who might have presented it or are close to us trying to help us,or at God who let it happen. Getting angry at ourselves makes us depressed. Being angry at other people scares them away and makes it harder for them to help us.
Could it be that God does not cause the bad things that happen to us? Could it be that he does not decide which families will suffer but rather that He stands ready to help them and us cope with our tragedies if we could only get beyond the feelings of guilt and anger that separate us from him? Could it be that " how could God do this to me? is really the wrong question for us to ask?
There is a German psychological term, Schadenfreude, which refers to the embarrassing reaction of relief we feel when something bad happens to someone else instead of to us. They can't help feeling an embarrassing spasm of gratitude that it happened to someone else and not to them.
We see psychology at work elsewhere, blaming the victim so that the evil doesn't seem so irrational and threatening. Blaming the victim is a way of reassuring ourselves that the world is not a bad a place as it may seem and that there are good reasons for peoples's suffering.
"God, why are you doing this to me but rather "God see what is happening to me. Can You help me?" We will turn to God, not to be judged or forgiven, not to be rewarded or punished, but to be strengthened and comforted.
but in fact, pain is natures way of telling us that we are overexerting ourselves, that some part of our body is not functioning as it was meant to, or is being asked to do more than it was intended to do.But pain does not represent God's punishing us. It represents natures way of warning good and bad people alike that something is wrong. Only humans can find meaning in their pain. Pain is the price we pay for being alive.
It is the result, not the cause, of pain that makes some experience of pain meaningful and others empty and destructive.
Too Often, in our pain and confusion, we instinctively do the wrong thing. We don't feel we deserve to be helped, so we let the guilt, anger, jealousy and self-imposed loneliness make a bad situation even worse.
When stating " Why is God doing this to me" the mistake was thinking it was a question. It is not a theological question at all but a cry of pain. There should be an explanation point instead of a question mark.
The answer should not be theological but sympathy.
Do not say:
Anything critical of the mourner
Anything which tries to minimize the mourners pain
Anything that asks the mourner to disguise or reject his feelings
We need sympathy more than we need advise
We need compassion.
We need physical comfort.
We need friends who permit you to be angry, to cry and to scream.
Come and listen
An appropriate sense guilt makes people try to be better. But an excessive sense of guilt, a tendency to blame ourselves for things which are clearly not our fault, robs us of our self-esteem and perhaps of our capacity to grow and act.
The text book definition of depression is anger turned inward instead of being discharged outward.
Fate, not God sends us the problem.
What do we do with the anger when we have been hurt? The goal, is we can achieve it, would be to be angry at the situation, rather than at ourselves, or at those who might have presented it or are close to us trying to help us,or at God who let it happen. Getting angry at ourselves makes us depressed. Being angry at other people scares them away and makes it harder for them to help us.
Monday, June 3, 2013
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Book Review
Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver: This might had been a good read for youth but the continuing reference to sex, drinking and drugs certainly makes it a book that I would never recommend to anyone under 21. The young girl dies and keeps coming back in a ground hog type story as she tries to get it right.
City of Women by David Gillam: I like WWII books. Usually I like anything about Hitler and the people of Germany. However this book is very depressing and mostly about adultery, loneliness, lying, deception and death. I am not sure if there is a heroine or not. It is probably accurate to a degree but I am not sure I want to know this information. I was depressed and sad when I finished it. Certainly not the best read of the year. I was glad it was over.
Inferno by Dan Brown: Dan Brown is back. The book is good and full of small details that make it interesting and fast moving. It is not as good as Davinci Code but much better than his other books. A quick read that does not disappoint though the ending could have been better.
Blue Jelly by Debby Bull: Mercy, what a waste of time and paper. Small book and half of the book contains repeating instructions on canning. The author is writing about herself as flips around in her life in deep depression. There are no details or anything constructive just random thoughts and actions. It was an hour read and worthless.
The lessons of Love by Melody Beattie: A bit too dramatic for me. It is an okay read.
Have a little faith by Mitch Albom: A good read. A good book and an excellent lesson.
Heaven is for Real by Todd Burpo and Lynn Vincent: I know this is going around as it is told by the son to his father but it is a bit much and not very believable Fast read but left me with nothing
The angels game by Carlos Ruiz Zafon: Not my favorite. Had to stay with the book and follow through. Pass.
Dancing on broken glass by Ka Hancock: Saving the best for last. This is a great book and a must read !!! Be prepared to bawl your eyes out. The story is well written and a joy to read and remember.
City of Women by David Gillam: I like WWII books. Usually I like anything about Hitler and the people of Germany. However this book is very depressing and mostly about adultery, loneliness, lying, deception and death. I am not sure if there is a heroine or not. It is probably accurate to a degree but I am not sure I want to know this information. I was depressed and sad when I finished it. Certainly not the best read of the year. I was glad it was over.
Inferno by Dan Brown: Dan Brown is back. The book is good and full of small details that make it interesting and fast moving. It is not as good as Davinci Code but much better than his other books. A quick read that does not disappoint though the ending could have been better.
Blue Jelly by Debby Bull: Mercy, what a waste of time and paper. Small book and half of the book contains repeating instructions on canning. The author is writing about herself as flips around in her life in deep depression. There are no details or anything constructive just random thoughts and actions. It was an hour read and worthless.
The lessons of Love by Melody Beattie: A bit too dramatic for me. It is an okay read.
Have a little faith by Mitch Albom: A good read. A good book and an excellent lesson.
Heaven is for Real by Todd Burpo and Lynn Vincent: I know this is going around as it is told by the son to his father but it is a bit much and not very believable Fast read but left me with nothing
The angels game by Carlos Ruiz Zafon: Not my favorite. Had to stay with the book and follow through. Pass.
Dancing on broken glass by Ka Hancock: Saving the best for last. This is a great book and a must read !!! Be prepared to bawl your eyes out. The story is well written and a joy to read and remember.
Kinny takes Tubby to St George with us
Lucky Bear Tubby
He got to spend the weekend in St George
I hope Kinny was able to tell the kids all the places he went ,while he was a way from the class room
Hunter's 6th birthday celebration vacation in St George 2013
What a great time we all had in St George this weekend. Hunter celebrated his 6th birthday. The twins went swimming for the first time. We had a party every day. Painted some great rocks! Successful scavenger hunt and a hand made punch pinata. A birthday cannot get any better than when you spend it with your family.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
The Big Game
I love going to the kids games and watching them play. Hunters game is everyone gets up, everyone bats and runs the bases. He always wins. Kyler's games are not like this at all. It is tough and the other night it was the toughest game of all.
The score was 6 to 5 in favorite of the other team. Kyler's team was up and they had 2 outs already. Cam had come to sit by me as the next three batters were the worst on the team so he was thinking the game was over. The first batter swung and missed but ended up walking to first. The next better swung and missed but also ended up walking. Did I mention the player on second actually stole third. It was his first steal of the season!!! It was a miracle and Cam was now on his feet. The next better hit the ball, made it to first and the BASES were LOADED. The next batter was the teams BEST. He was up and the pressure was on. The crowd was gong crazy. Cam is not at the fence. He swung, foal ball, he swung, foal ball, then he got three ball. It was full count. As the next ball came in, he let it go. Everyone thought he was walking but the umpire called it a strike, the crowd erupted. The coach went to have a little chat with the umpire. He was thrown our of the game. You could hear the whole crowd moan.
Cameron had recorded the pitch and wanted to show it to the field supervisor but she would not even look at it and stood behind the umpires call.
The other team was up and for the first time this year, it was one, two, three strikes your out and we were up again.
The first batter got on base, then he stole second when the second batter struck out. He stole third when the third batter struck out. So we have one guy on third base, two outs and we are still one point behind the league champions. The batter swings and the ball is out there. The player on third base runs towards home but they beat him to home so he runs back. They throw it to the 3rd basemen but he is off base, he throws it back to the catcher. And the ball goes back and forth til they tag him out and the game is over.
No one had a voice left, the crowd was exhausted from the adrenal rush, the kids were all jumping up and down. The fathers finally loosen their fingers from the chain link fence and started to pack up. Kyler came out of the dug out, a huge grim on his face. He loved the game and had a great time. I went home to bed. Good Heavens they are only 9.
Monday, May 13, 2013
Words I want to remember
So many things just made me laugh this weekend. I wanted to write them down so I did not forget how cute the kids are.
Kyler and Kinny return home with me to sleep over night. My mom asks where are they going to sleep. I responded that I was going to put them on the couch bed down stairs with me. Kyler heard and said he wanted to sleep with me. I said that was okay. Kinny immediately pointed to my mom and said, I want to sleep with her. My mom blushed and explained that she had to sleep with great grandpa or he would be sad. She said that was okay.
Kinny mom was gone this weekend and while we were driving in the car, I was talking about what a great time she must be having. Kinny immediately told me that she hoped that she was not having fun, after all what about her daughter that she does nothing with or her son that she does nothing with...... Sadly I cannot write this so you could hear the pity in her voice but it was pretty pitiful.
Arriving at Colby's on Saturday, I had brought mugs to decorate with the kids footprints for Heather for Mothers day. Colby explained to me that they were changing Mothers day to Helpful, Friendly, Spooky white ghost day. After all the boys did not know what mother was but they knew Heather was always helping them, that she was very friendly and smiling all the time and she is as white as a ghost. He said mom, sometimes Kale and I walk around and Heather and Koda just scare us. COLBY!!!! So happy helpful, friendly spooky white ghost day to you all.
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