The Weird Sisters by Eleanor Brown

We all have stories we tell ourselves. We tell ourselves we are too fat, or too ugly, or too old or too foolish. We tell ourselves these stories because they allow us to excuse our actions and they allow us to pass off the responsibility for things we have done - maybe to something within our control but anything other than the decisions we have made. Your story, is the story of your sisters. And it is past time, I think, for you to stop telling that particular story and tell the story of yourself. Stop defining yourself in terms of them. You don't just have to exist in the empty space they leave. There are times in our lives when we have to realize our past is precisely what it is and we cannot change it. But we can change the story we tell ourselves about it and by doing that, we can change the future.

Hunter and his 5 trophies

The Oak Tree

A mighty wind blew night and day. It stole the oak tree's leaves away. Then snapped its boughs and pulled its bark, until the oak was tired and stark. But still the oak tree held its ground, while other trees fell all around. The weary wind gave up and spoke "How can you still be standing, Oak?" The oak tree said, "I know that you can break each branch of mine in two carry every leaf away, shake my limbs and make me sway. But I have roots stretched in the earth growing stronger since my birth. You'll never touch them , for you see they are the deepest part of me. Until today, I wasn't sure of just how much I could endure but now I've found with thanks to you I"m stronger than I ever knew " thank you Dianna

Grief is Like a River

My grief is like a river I have to let it flow But I myself determine just where the banks will go Some days the current takes me in waves of guilt and pain but there are always quiet pools where I can rest again I crash on rocks of anger my faith seems faint indeed but there are other swimmers who know that what I need Are loving hands to hold me when the waters are too swift and someone kind to listen when I just seem to drift Grief's river is a process of relinquishing the past by swimming in Hope's channels I'll reach the shore at last.

I like this

Dear Optimist, Pessimist and Realist, While you guys were busy arguing about the glass of water, I drank it! Sincerely, The Opportunist

Yes it has been

Tomorrow

So true

Solitude of being

I just finished reading the mermaid chair by Sue Monk Kidd. I think everyone feels this way some time or other.

My life had started to go stagnant, like it was atrophied. Everything shrunk down to the rules I played. I loved doing them but they were drying up and they weren't really me. I felt like there had to be some other life beneath the one I had, like a river or something and that I would die if I didn't dig down to it. Back there, somewhere, I'd lost that solitude of being that told me who I was. The whole mystery of myself.

Explain to me how this happens

We had a wonderful time at the Zermatt. We arrived Friday afternoom, checked in, walked the gounds. Ambree had a map of the property and a list of things she wanted to do. We had time before dinner so we did a little shopping, stopped by to look at the crater and then I showed Hunter the tree hit by lightning. The Friday night seafood buffet was unbelievable delishous, although a bit pricy. Then we went swimming till late, back to grandma's room for room services and TV.
The next morning 9:00 came too early, pancake breakfast with Kyler, Kinley and Shae was just right, no ordering, and they had chocolate chip pancakes , blueberry pancake and hot chocolate. Head down starts to color eggs and then had a little time before the easter egg hunt so we went shopping again. Bought a few things! Then back for the hunt in absolutely beautiful weather. We had bags and baskets mixed with coats that we did not need. Everyone got a basket full of eggs. After the hunt it was off to our free carousel ride and time to check out.

We are parked out front ready to go. I am looking for my purse to tip the bellhop. I cannot find it in all the mess. Then my phone rings and I answer it. It is Holly. Her brother is at the Zermatt and has my wallet. I call him and we both walk 20 feet and meet at the carousel.

I guess while we were shuffling all the eggs, coats, baskets and purses, my wallet dropped in the dark ground cover. My wallet is black and was not noticed. A young boy still out from the egg hunt finds it and walks up to a perfect stranger and asks him to turn it into the office. The stranger was Hollys brother. He opens the wallet to see if there is a number to contact the owner as everyone is leaving as the hunt is over. He immediately recognizes Robert Dewitt, calls Holly, who calls me and Viola the missng wallet is return.

Now here is another wierd thing. The last time we were at the Zermatt, while we were parked out front ready to leave, I also found someone wallet and had to return it.

How do these things happen. It is a small world.

Zermatt ---- Here we come!!!

Kids say the darnest things

From Shae:
Both of my kids loved your Easter card but Kins was so cute I had to share with you. Yesterday when she opened the card she danced around with the card at first of coarse and then opened the card up to the window. When Cam asked what she was doing she looked at him like he was retarded and said "playing the song for the flowers duh" then later she asked me if I have seen any flower because she didn't and asked if she could bring her card out side for the flowers? Ha ha

Then last night she is laying in bed and yells Mom I made it rain!!!
Both Cam and I with horrible thoughts in our head run into her room expecting to find a hole in her ceiling or a cup of water dumped all over her bed... When we went in there we found nothing and asked her what she meant. And with a big smile on her face she points out the window and says mom I made it rain so the flowers would grow they liked my song I played for them:)

From Brent:
We dropped Amy off at the airport at 7am.
I tried to talk Hunter and Ambree into skipping school and going fishing. But both said they wanted to go to school and then go fishing after they get out. I don't think either of them are really my kids

From Grandma:
Tuesday night Kyler and Kinley were over. We went to get bubble gum ice cream. We got back and we up to the bedroom to watch a movie. Kyler " grandma give me the remote" He picks something like " bubble head" looks like south park. He tells me they were watching it this morning but his mom and dad do not like them to watch it.

The Kinley says in her saddest little girl voice" oh yeah grandma, my mom and dad are real mean to us, real mean"
What do you say to that, I just grim.
Being the grandma is just the greatest!

Dansko Shoes-- I am addicted

I have jsut gotten my 6th pair of Dansko shoes. I love them and want more!!! Everytime I get them Brent catches me sneaking them into the house. Today I " got my easter" shoes in without anyone seeing them. Just know tomorrow the first words out of everyone mouth is " aren't those new shoes!" Yes they are and I love them

Love to the Martin family

Dear Damon,

I think of you every day

I purposely drive by your house whenever I go out

I look for all the cars that will be there

And I look for when no cars are there at all

Mostly I think of you at night

As I lay in bed alone , in my house alone

And I think, I know how you feel and I want so much to do something

Wonderful, magically, spiritual for you to help you

But I have nothing

Sometimes I have an idea

Sometimes I think of something clever

But I never follow through

It is too much

It is too hard

My reach out button is broke

To give to someone you have to have something to give

There has to be more to yourself to give

And there is nothing here

I love you

I love Tracy

I love your kids

And I love your parents

Always, always each of you have been wonderfully kind to my family and me

To not reach out shows ingratitude for all you have done for us

When Rob was sick your mom and dad were so kind to drop by

And your dad always brought jam

I want to be that kind of person

I have been that kind of person

But not today

Today I can only send my love

My thoughts and my prayers for you and your family

Today I can reach out just a little bit, nothing fancy, nothing great or memorable

Just sending my love

I was head downwards the week before Tracy passed away

It was bad

And then when I thought, I needed to change it around

Your families loss, put me further down the road than I wanted to be

I went away for conference determined to prepared and listen to the special message at conference that was just for me

Something that would help heal my heart

Imagine my surprise when talk after talk was for me and helped me to find hope, love and my saviors message just for me

Today I am grateful

Today I have hope

Today I see a tomorrow

Today I am sending my love to you

Today I am praying for you

Today I am thinking about you and hoping that you will find just one little ray of sunshine in your day and know that you are loved

Today my prayer is for angels to attend you, to carry you and to lighten your load

Today I hope you feel Tracy around you and her joy and love

I would love to drop this off in person but I know I would never make it to your door

I might be able to make it to the mail box but not sure

It would probably sit in my purse until I talked myself out f sending it

But I saw you posted on facebook and think maybe an email will reach you

I think, I can do that

So I am

loved this talk in conference

Preparing for Conference

In preparation for conference I read all of the past Church News. Here was one of my favorite Quotes and was written just for me at this time.

stay in the boat, god knows your circumstances

Red Mountian Resort

Two thumbs up for Red Moutain Resort. I got away this weekend to St George.
Nothing like Conference, Sunshine and complete relaxation to help you understand and listen to the big plan.
Red Mountain was more than I had hoped for. It was beautiful, quiet and they provided excellent customer care.
I would recommend it to everyone!
What did I learn when I was there. There is more to Gods plan and I need to learn to be patience and lean back and enjoy the scenery. There is beauty all around and I need not to worry and let what ever is going to happen -- happen.
I had prepared for confernece and was VERY surprized ( although I should not be) that many and I do mean many of the talks were just for me.

Message from Heaven

To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say...
but first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there's no more tears of sadness; here is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I'm with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me and He said, "I welcome you."

It's good to have you back again; you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on.
I need you here badly; you're part of my plan.
There's so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man."

God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night, the day's chores put to flight.
God and I are closest to you....in the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years
because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.

I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned.
But if I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand.
But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is o'er.
I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.

There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb;
but together we can do it by taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too...
that as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.

If you can help somebody who's in sorrow and pain,
then you can say to God at night......"My day was not in vain."
And now I am contented....that my life has been worthwhile,
knowing as I passed along the way, I made somebody smile.

So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low,
just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go.
When you're walking down the street, and you've got me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.

And when it's time for you to go.... from that body to be free,
remember you're not going.....you're coming here to me.

Every Morning.........

I find the strength to make it another day without you .
I think of you often and remember all the things we use to do and the fun we had.
Now those days are gone and all I can do is cling to the memories of a time long since past.
I cherish those times and hold them close to my heart.
Our love knows no boundaries as my love for you continues to grow more and more.

It is just too ironic

Today is Friday.
I have volunteered or railroaded my family into being the person to take my grandma to her hair appointment, grocery store and lunch today. She has been going on Friday at 10:00 am for the past 20 plus years. It is the same stylist, the same hair cut, the same color and she still still pays ten bucks for the service. ( no tip)
It is a work day for me and I have been up for hours trying to get in as much work as possible before I leave. Not thinking, I placed my 9:00 call on my old home land line so I could use the hand free feature as I put on makeup and get dressed. The call goes too long and I am not mobile but stuck at home on the call.
Leaving late, I plan to make up time but going a little faster than normal to her house. I head out on 2200 West and right in front of me is another car, going less than the speed limit. The other lane is full and I cannot pass.
Just a bit frustrated, I notice the car contains 2 older women.
My immediate thought:
Oh good grief, 2 grandmas on their way to their hair appointment without a care in the world and taking their time because they are chatting so much.....just shoot me now!!!!.
Then I thought-- Hey wait a minute.... in just a moment, it will be my car that holds two old grandma's on their way to their hair appointment and we will not have a care in the world except to get our Caramel espresso freeze and to chat.
When did I get to be one of those grandma's in the car?????
And who will I tick off as I pay more attention to my grandma than the road.

Needless to say.
I arrived late to grandma's house
we arrived ( fashionably ) late to the hair appointment
we had not a care in the world
and I told grandma my story and we both laughed
Yes, ironically I am now the old grandma in the car in front of you driving slow on my way to my hair appointment.

Shoot me now!

I choose beautiful.

Happy 4 year old Birthday Kinley

All Kinley asked me for was fake eyelashes
Don't they look great on her!!!!

if only

AUNT HEATHER!!!

Aunt Heather was sick on Sunday and they went home in a rush and she left her glamour magazine. Last night when Kyler was here, he was looking through the magazine and had a bad case of the giggles. He had to keep showing his dad and me "yet another " picture of the girls! I told him his uncle Matt use to giggle when you said the word "boobies" and he just rolled on the ground laughing. Guess now Kyler is eight we need to watch what is just laying around the house.

Book Reviews

One of my goals for 2002 is to write a book review on the books I read this year. I love to read. Sadly you have to read many bad books to find and realize a good book. 2012 is not off to a very good start with 2 bad books and only one good book read so far.
Two thumbs down goes to WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KEVIN BY LIONEL SHRIVER.
I am not sure what was so appealing about this book that I bought it. It has taken me a few months to finish it. It is letters written by the mother of a teenage boy, who murdered his fellow high school students, workers and a teacher. She is writing to her husband and goes through their life together and how she felt. It is mixed with her visits and relationship to her son as it changes.
It is too sad of a book and does not have a Happy ending.
Two thumbs down also goes to Ishmael by Daniel Quinn. I might be too much of a skimmer to read the deep meaning in this book. But it was just too weird for me. An old gorilla communicates with a man about how we should work with nature instead of against it.
Two thumbs up for THE SEVEN WONDERS THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE by Glenn Beck. This is a positive upbeat book with more than 7 things you can take away from it for a better life.
Two thumbs up for The weight of Silence by Heather Gudenhauf. It was one of the best written books I have read in a while. It is our book club book tonight and I am anxious to talk about it.