On going conversations

Kyler:   Where is Frodo
Grandma: Frodo went to live  with Matt until grandma gets a new house
Kyler:  oh good, I was afraid he went to the P O U N D
Grandma:  ( thinking what that spells) oh no , Frodo is at Matts, I just need to find a house
Kinney:  Grandma, you can come look with us.  We are going to get a new house with 3 extra bedrooms. You can come live with us and your parents.  Your parents  can have one room, you can have a room and Frodo can have a room.
Grandma:  thanks Kinney I think I will do that

When Bad things happen to good people by Harold S. Kushner

I read this book today at the pool .  I read a lot of bad- good- okay- books but this was was excellent.  Here are some passages from the book that I want to remember:
Could it be that God does not cause the bad things that happen to us?  Could it be that he does not decide which families will suffer but rather that He stands ready to help them and us cope with our tragedies if we could only get beyond the feelings of guilt and anger that separate us from him?  Could it be that " how could God do this to me? is really the wrong question for us to ask?

There is a German psychological term, Schadenfreude, which refers to the embarrassing reaction  of relief we feel when something bad happens to someone else instead of to us.   They can't help feeling an embarrassing spasm of gratitude that it happened to someone else and not to them.
We see psychology at work elsewhere, blaming the victim so that the evil doesn't seem so irrational and threatening.  Blaming the victim is a way of reassuring ourselves that the world is not a bad  a place as it may seem and that there are good reasons for peoples's suffering.

"God, why are you doing this to me but rather "God see what is happening to me.  Can You help me?"  We will turn to God, not to be judged or forgiven, not to be rewarded or punished, but to be strengthened  and comforted.

but in fact, pain is natures way of telling us that we are overexerting ourselves, that some part of our body is not functioning as it was meant to, or is being asked to do more than it was intended to do.But pain does not represent God's punishing us.  It represents natures way  of warning good and bad people alike that something is wrong. Only humans can find meaning in their pain.  Pain is the price we pay for being alive.
It is the result, not the cause, of pain that makes some experience of pain  meaningful and others empty and destructive.
Too Often, in our pain and confusion, we instinctively  do the wrong thing.  We don't feel we deserve to be helped, so we let the guilt, anger, jealousy and self-imposed loneliness make a bad situation even worse.
When stating "  Why is God doing this to me"  the mistake was thinking it was a question.  It is not a theological question at all but a cry of pain.  There should be an explanation point instead of a question mark.
The answer should not be theological but sympathy.

Do not say:
               Anything critical of the mourner
               Anything which tries to minimize the mourners pain
                Anything that asks the mourner to disguise or reject his feelings

We need sympathy more than we need advise
We need compassion.
We need physical comfort.
We need friends who permit you to be angry, to cry and to scream.

Come and listen

An appropriate sense guilt  makes people try to be better.  But an excessive sense of guilt, a tendency to blame ourselves for things which are clearly not our fault, robs us  of our self-esteem and perhaps of our capacity to grow and act.

The text book definition of depression is anger turned inward instead of being discharged outward.

Fate, not God sends us the problem.

What do we do with the anger when we have been hurt?  The goal, is we can achieve it, would be to be angry at the situation, rather than at ourselves, or at those who might have presented it or are close to us trying to help us,or at God who let it happen.  Getting angry at ourselves makes us depressed. Being angry at other people scares them away and makes it harder for them to help us.

             

My niece is engaged!!!

Congratulations !!!!!
We love you.

Kinney graduates

Cameron Graduates

Book Review

Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver:   This might had been a good read for youth but the continuing reference to sex, drinking and drugs certainly makes it a book that I would never recommend to anyone under 21.   The young girl dies and keeps coming back in a ground hog type story as she tries to get it right.

City of Women by David Gillam:  I like WWII books.  Usually I like anything about Hitler and the people of Germany.  However this book is very depressing and mostly about adultery, loneliness, lying, deception and death.  I am not sure if there is a heroine or not.  It is probably accurate to a degree but I am not sure I want to know this information.  I was depressed and sad when I finished it.  Certainly not the best read of the year.  I was glad it was over.

Inferno by Dan Brown:  Dan Brown is back.  The book is good and full of small details that make it interesting and fast moving. It is not as good as Davinci Code but much better than his other books.  A quick read that does not disappoint though the ending could have been better.

Blue Jelly by Debby Bull:  Mercy, what a waste of time and paper.  Small book and half of the book contains repeating instructions on canning.  The author is writing about herself as flips around in her life in deep depression.  There are  no details or anything constructive just random thoughts and actions.  It was an hour read and worthless.

The lessons of Love by Melody Beattie:   A bit too dramatic for me.  It is an okay read.

Have a little faith by Mitch Albom:  A good read.  A good book and an excellent lesson.

Heaven is for Real by Todd Burpo and Lynn Vincent:  I know this is going around as it is told by the son to his father but it is a bit much and not very believable  Fast read but left me with nothing

The angels game by Carlos Ruiz Zafon:   Not my favorite.  Had to stay with the book and follow through. Pass.

Dancing on broken glass by Ka Hancock:  Saving the best for last.  This is a great book and a  must read !!!  Be prepared to bawl your eyes out.  The story is well written and a joy to read and remember.  

Kinny takes Tubby to St George with us

Lucky Bear Tubby 

He got to spend the weekend in St George

I hope Kinny was able to tell the kids all the places he went ,while he was a way from the class room

Kale and Koda at the Pool in St George

Sorry Boys, your mom and dad did it!   

Hunter's 6th birthday celebration vacation in St George 2013

What a great time we all had in St George this weekend.  Hunter celebrated his 6th birthday.  The twins went swimming for the first time.  We had a party every day.  Painted some great rocks!  Successful scavenger hunt and a hand made punch pinata.  A birthday cannot get any better than when  you spend it with your family.

The Big Game

I love going to the kids games and watching them play. Hunters game is everyone gets up, everyone bats and runs the bases. He always wins. Kyler's games are not like this at all. It is tough and the other night it was the toughest game of all. The score was 6 to 5 in favorite of the other team. Kyler's team was up and they had 2 outs already. Cam had come to sit by me as the next three batters were the worst on the team so he was thinking the game was over. The first batter swung and missed but ended up walking to first. The next better swung and missed but also ended up walking. Did I mention the player on second actually stole third. It was his first steal of the season!!! It was a miracle and Cam was now on his feet. The next better hit the ball, made it to first and the BASES were LOADED. The next batter was the teams BEST. He was up and the pressure was on. The crowd was gong crazy. Cam is not at the fence. He swung, foal ball, he swung, foal ball, then he got three ball. It was full count. As the next ball came in, he let it go. Everyone thought he was walking but the umpire called it a strike, the crowd erupted. The coach went to have a little chat with the umpire. He was thrown our of the game. You could hear the whole crowd moan. Cameron had recorded the pitch and wanted to show it to the field supervisor but she would not even look at it and stood behind the umpires call. The other team was up and for the first time this year, it was one, two, three strikes your out and we were up again. The first batter got on base, then he stole second when the second batter struck out. He stole third when the third batter struck out. So we have one guy on third base, two outs and we are still one point behind the league champions. The batter swings and the ball is out there. The player on third base runs towards home but they beat him to home so he runs back. They throw it to the 3rd basemen but he is off base, he throws it back to the catcher. And the ball goes back and forth til they tag him out and the game is over. No one had a voice left, the crowd was exhausted from the adrenal rush, the kids were all jumping up and down. The fathers finally loosen their fingers from the chain link fence and started to pack up. Kyler came out of the dug out, a huge grim on his face. He loved the game and had a great time. I went home to bed. Good Heavens they are only 9.

Words I want to remember

So many things just made me laugh this weekend. I wanted to write them down so I did not forget how cute the kids are. Kyler and Kinny return home with me to sleep over night. My mom asks where are they going to sleep. I responded that I was going to put them on the couch bed down stairs with me. Kyler heard and said he wanted to sleep with me. I said that was okay. Kinny immediately pointed to my mom and said, I want to sleep with her. My mom blushed and explained that she had to sleep with great grandpa or he would be sad. She said that was okay. Kinny mom was gone this weekend and while we were driving in the car, I was talking about what a great time she must be having. Kinny immediately told me that she hoped that she was not having fun, after all what about her daughter that she does nothing with or her son that she does nothing with...... Sadly I cannot write this so you could hear the pity in her voice but it was pretty pitiful. Arriving at Colby's on Saturday, I had brought mugs to decorate with the kids footprints for Heather for Mothers day. Colby explained to me that they were changing Mothers day to Helpful, Friendly, Spooky white ghost day. After all the boys did not know what mother was but they knew Heather was always helping them, that she was very friendly and smiling all the time and she is as white as a ghost. He said mom, sometimes Kale and I walk around and Heather and Koda just scare us. COLBY!!!! So happy helpful, friendly spooky white ghost day to you all.

Book review continues

The Lessons of Love: Rediscovering Our Passion for Life When It All Seems Too Hard to Take Melody Beattie **** must read Journey to the Heart: Daily Meditations on the Path to Freeing Your Soul Melody Beattie * not a good read for me The Lost Art of Compassion PH. D. Lorne Ladner * pretty deep Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life (Borzoi Books) Karen Armstrong * like AA The Second Greatest Story Ever Told Gorman Bechard *** a little bizarre-- has the daughter of God coming to Earth The Greatest Story Ever Told Fulton Oursler *** the story of Christ, I loved reading it The Second Greatest Story Ever Told Les Ullrich two thumbs down-- Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake (Random House Large Print) Anna Quindlen two thumbs down The Greatest Love Story Ever Told two thumbs down Audrey Hepburn: A Secret Life Stuart J. Byczynski two thumbs down Blind Your Ponies Stanley Gordon West **** a good story, a bit boring in parts but a good read Blood Red Road (Dustlands, Book 1) Moira Young ** good Lost in Shangri-La: A True Story of Survival, Adventure, and the Most Incredible Rescue Mission of World War II **** a must read House of Prayer No. 2: A Writer's Journey Home Mark Richard * okay Say Her Name: A Novel Francisco Goldman *** pass Bigger than a Bread Box Laurel Snyder *** glad my niece had me read this one The Diamond of Darkhold (Ember, Book 4) Jeanne DuPrau The Ember book one The starling Book two The Prophet of Yonwood (Ember, Book 3) *** a very good series-- maybe better than the Hunger games The Oversoul Seven Trilogy: The Education of Oversoul Seven, The Further Education of Oversoul Seven, Oversoul Seven and the Museum of Time (Roberts, too weird for me Just shows you have to read a lot of books to find a good one.

I also have a broomstick

This is your life

Forgiveness

Thoughts that make me smile

Courage Doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying: " I will try again tomorrow" The greatest gift we can give to those who have left us is to live fully in their place. She packed all her potential and all she had learned, grabbed a cute pair of shoes and headed out to change a few things. I am fairly certain that given a cape and a nice tiara, I could save the world.

No regrets

So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion, respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide. Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, even a stranger, when in a lonely place. Show respect to all people and grovel to none. When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself. Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools and robs the spirit of its vision. When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home

Live one day

Live one day at a time and make it a masterpiece... avoid negative sources, people, places and habits; Believe in yourself: Consider things from every angle don't give up or give in everything you're looking for lies behind the mask you wear family and friends are hidden treasures, seek them and enjoy their riches Give more than you planned to Hang on to your dreams if opportunity doesn't knock, build a door judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it keep trying no matter how hard it seems love yourself make it happen never lie, steal or cheat open your arms to change but don't let go of your values Practice makes perfect quality not quantity in anything you do remember that sometimes silence is the best answer stop procrastinating take control of your own destiny understand yourself in order to better understand others Visualize when you lose, don't lose the lesson Xcellence in all your efforts you are unique nothing can replace you Zero in on your target and go for it a to Zen of Life

Eternal Flame

Our time has come to say goodbye and though I am gone I did not die I'm in your thoughts, I'm in your heart, I'm by your side, though we're apart. So when life seems to be unfair, remember the light and I will be there. Whenever you need to, say my name, I'm there inside an internal flame.

Visitors

The young women in the ward has been so kind and dropped by cookies, treats, letter and cards. I love to see their smiling faces. The other night they stopped by and Heather answered the door. The asked " is your mother home?" Heather replies "nope". The other day ( or should I say just about every day!!! ) Frodo got out and two little girls brought him home. They knock on the door and I talk to them from the window. We found your dog Oh thank you, can you please just open the door and let him in? yes Do you have any kids? No, they are all gone up and moved away Do you live my yourself? yes, I do can we come in? Yes, you can Can we come upstairs? yes, you can Can we go in your yard? yes, you can I look out the window and they are playing but now a grandpa has joined them they leave but lucky come back Knock knock knock can we swim in your pool? yes, you can I think I am going to let Frodo out more and see what he brings home

Stop Seeking Out the Storms & Enjoy More Fully The Sunlight

Today

Yes, he does

May I always find the time

Hunter 5th birthday Celebration vacation

Pictures to come